


save a few for me

by aroceu



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-03
Updated: 2011-03-03
Packaged: 2017-10-27 21:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroceu/pseuds/aroceu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Super Junior is but a mask, a collection of thirteen selfish men in disguise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	save a few for me

They don’t know each other.

Well, they do but not really. Youngwoon and Heechul have supposedly known each other since childhood, as have Jongwoon and Donghae; Kyuhyun’s the newer one and Hankyung’s all the way from China.

They know each other, but not really.

  
 

**

  


It’s all part of the contract. The bonding, the rooming, the supposed friendship—it’s all part of the contract. It’s nothing they can escape from and it’s nothing they can do about, but none of them care. They all have the same, common goal, right? To be famous, to get rich, to win the hearts of people all over Korea, all over Asia, all over the world. The closeness that they’re supposed to feign is worth it. It’s all worth it.

So Hankyung hugs Heechul, and Hyukjae and Donghae go over to their own little corner while Sungmin rests his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder. Ryeowook holds onto Jongwoon, Youngwoon shouts out Jungsu’s name—because it’s what they’re supposed to do. It’s what they’re expected to do.

And in the end, it’s all worth it.

 

  


**

  


And after performances, no one speaks (unless a camera is nearby). No one looks at another, no one touches each other, no one does a thing. This isn’t part of the contract; it’s part of who they are.

When they go to shows and are asked about their daily living habits and styles, Heechul and Jungsu are quick to fake responses and Jongwoon is quick to fake his alleged habits. Ryeowook is quick to fake his closeness and Sungmin is quick to fake his affection and Donghae, Donghae is quick to fake his smile. The fangirls cheer and the emcee laughs and they are satisfied. Because it’s all worth it.

 

  


**

  


Disputes aren’t uncommon in dorms: perhaps they’re the only thing that they don’t lie about on the shows. The conflicts, the fights, the shouting and yelling and shoving and pushing and punching that happens between all of them—all of it is real.

Of course, it only happens when no one else is around.

They don’t hug or hold or kiss each other; they walk around with glass shoes and empty bottles in their hand. They don’t talk or help or comfort each other, because this is who they are.

 

  


**

  


They don’t show interest because they know each other (but not really.) They don’t expose their darkest secrets and all the things that they have together are fragile, like paper-thin butterfly wings.

One, two, and then they snap.

All the smiles exchanged mean nothing, and they’re all, they’re all sort of uncomfortable with their arms around each other’s shoulders and bodies and necks—but they remember the end, they remember their fame and fortune, and all of a sudden it seems like nothing. Siwon clings to Hyukjae and their album breaks record sales the next day. Ryeowook holds hands with Kibum and their posters sell out a few days later.

And they’re all happy with it. But never with each other.

 

  


**

  


The games they play together, the things they do to each other whenever they’re on those talk shows (again)—they’re all scripted. They’re all fake. Everything about the music industry is fake, they’ve found out; and they, they are fake.

They don’t really mind of course, because the money rolls in and even after the most heated argument, even after the most painful fight that they don’t allow the public eye to see—this is what they’re willing to sacrifice for the money. And it’s not just the money, but the recognition, the greed, the pride.

They update their Cyworlds and say things about each member, things they make up on the spot. The fans and the audience eat them up, like they’re starving and there’s no food left. And they don’t really care about each other, as long as they’re satisfied themselves, in the end.

  
 

  


**

  


Except—

Except there’s one thing they can’t escape. There’s one thing they can’t control, one thing they can’t figure out. There’s one thing that they can’t, no matter how hard they’d try, there’s one thing that they can’t get rid of, despite each one of their soiled, rotted hearts.

_“Super Junior!”_

The Pearl Sapphire Blue Ocean stares at them, waving in the distance. Shindong feels like he’s about to cry while Kyuhyun bows his head down and stares at his feet. Their hands suddenly feel cold, clammy while the fans’ cheers persist, singing along to every one of their songs, knowing them better than they know themselves.

_“Super Junior fighting!”_

The blue sort of reminds them of their tears, large and forgotten but hidden somewhere in their throats. Ryeowook chokes back a sob while Jungsu’s grip on Donghae suddenly becomes tighter. Youngwoon rests his head on Sungmin’s neck unknowingly, and Siwon buries his face in his hands.

_“Super Junior love E.LF.!”_

Their words come out sore, raspy, soft through the microphones. Kibum drops his hand, Hankyung blinks to the audience. Jongwoon breathes shallowly, Hyukjae bites his lip, Heechul doesn’t speak. And they stare, as the sea in front of them shakes and jumps, bright in their gleaming eyes.

_“E.L.F. love Super Junior!”_

Cheers and roars erupt throughout the stadium, shaking the whole earth, the world around their souls. They don’t feel at the top, they don’t feel at the bottom—but they feel, they feel whole. They feel safe. They feel each and every one of their hands as they bow, and they feel the single stage beneath all of their feet; and they feel like one.

_“Super Junior forever!”_

Because even though they don’t share anything else, they will always love their fans, together.  
 


End file.
